PUT IT DOWN

STOP FEEDING YOUR FAT FUCKING FACE!!!!!!! PUT IT DOWN!!!!!!!

Pepperonis, waffles dripping in butter, the rice cakes, the salsa. the pizza rolls, the pasta, the cereal, the fruit snacks, the apple sauce, the juice.

find a nice little home in my belly and never come up.






i want to die.

Decent

Well today has been alright. Half a bowl of oatmeal with cinnamon for brek (real oatmeal, not that prepackaged shit), ¾ cup of rice cereal, and a cup of chicken noodle soup just now. A detailed cal count will come later tonight. Now I'm off to exercise and read Wintergirls while I do!

-Macca

Need Motivation

Ughhh. I'm feeling weak. Food is calling me. On the TV...they're talking about this teenage boy that eats over 5000 calories a day!!!!!!!!! So much food....now they're cooking dinner....I can practically smell it. But I can't change the channel. It's like a train wreck. I can't look away.

HGFDJSGLKJKL!!! Can I still eat negative cals?

Edit:
I failed...but not miserably.
1½ rice cakes with salsa- <90 cal
around 10 honeydew melon balls (neg cal)

Now my mom is making some sort of rice/salmon/egg/orange pepper/asparagus stir fry thing.
She's using peanut oil (Gross...like 130 cal A SERVING) and she's using whole eggs (she could at least have used egg whites...) But my intake was low today...and most of the things in it are decent (veggies, salmon, rice). I'll try and limit since I had some neg cal fruits first so i wouldn't be too hungry and over do it. I still need to work my way to fasting and I plan to hit the gym at least twice a week. But for now...it'll do. I'll try not to go too crazy with the rice. Mom's dishing it for me though....probably a lot. (She's one of those naturally skinny people. She has a smaller pant size than me.) Well....wish me luck.

Feel fee to email me at anytime <3
mccartney.jones7@gmail.com

<3

Fasting Day and joining blogs

Okay, fast day today. Or at least an attempted one. After yesterday I need it, and I'll probably do some yoga today so that's good. I usually fail at fasting but I know I need to work into it so if it is a fail, it will be a < 200 cal fail, which i can deal with. Any tips and tricks to avoid hunger would be loved!

I'm also wanting to join the Ana/Mia Chronicles, an awesome, supportive blog. I sent my request by email a few days a go so crossing fingers I can join those lovely ladies and their battles, too.

So, I may update tonight, may not. But until later, bye lovelies. Stay beautiful.

Edit:
Even better! Did a little research on some yummy negative cal fruits and veggies. So it will be a negative cal day :D

Honeydew, here I come.

Binge...no purge

I was doing so well today. I was at 235 cal. And I got home and was going to eat half a sandwich. 196.7 cal. And call it good.  But then I ate the other half. And pizza rolls, and half a mini pizza, and waffles CAKED in butter and more pizza rolls and a pudding cup.

I am so disgusting. Why did I eat mostly meat and bread for my binge?!?!? SO hard to get up! I tried to purge, I really did. All I got was a little bit of pudding, a couple of pizza rolls, and water. What's wrong with me? AND I drank coconut water to help get it up. EVEN MY WATER HAD CALORIES!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tomorrow is a fast day, for sure. Nothing but zero calorie water. Any encouragement would be great, I need motivation so badly. And any tips on B/Ping well would be GREATLY appreciated.

Thanks,
The Fat Fucking Loser

Day's Report: 4/16/12

Breakfast:
-Special K Protein shake- 190 cal

Lunch:
-Two very small monster cookies- about 200 cal
    (Fuck fuck! But they were made with oats so...fingers crossed for getting those goodies)
-Luck Charms cereal bar- 100 cal
    (Not bad considering how AWESOME it was...)

Snack:
-Salmon onigiri (rice balls)- 175 cal
-Light string cheese- 50 cal
-Turkey, fat free creme cheese, salsa roll- 60 cal
    (Sounded so weird but was awesome and SO satisfying. Just got some veggies for all kinds of combos!)
-Green tea with cinnamon

Exercise:
-168 cal

So my total thus far is a 607 net income...not bad but I'll probably be eating more tonight for dinner, maybe one of those roll things with veggies...But I will for sure stay under 900 cal or I will die. Or something else dramatic. It was really cold today though and I didn't wear a jacket and was out a lot so...fingers crossed it boosted my metabolism!

Maybe update later.
Macca

[Update:]
Dinner:
-Two turkey, cheese, salsa, veggie roll- 120 cal
-Half container of light french vanilla yogurt- 50 cal

So 770 cal for today. Feels like a lot but...under 800 so that's good. Those rolls are so filling. I have no idea why I had two! Guess I wanted to make sure this is the last I eat tonight. But I'm starting to hate feeling full. Makes me feel so faaaaaaaaaaat. But my calorie intake today doesn't reflect that so I'm glad :] No caffeine tonight, hopefully I can get some rest this time.

Always feel free to email!

Rough Night

Last night was awful. Zero sleep. I may have to increase my cal and lower slowly. And no tea before bed hahah!

But... When I stepped on the scale this morning (even though I know it doesn't "count"...I couldn't help but smile at it reading 121.8. ...

Day's Report: 4/15/12

The Day's Report:

Breakfast:
-Special K protein shake- 190 cal

Lunch (Fucked thanks to my smoking...):
-2½ White cheddar rice cakes with Village salsa - about 120 cal
      (45 cal for each rice cake and 5 cal for every 2 tbsp of salsa)
-Cup of green tea with cinnamon, ginger, and 2 tsp of honey - 30 cal

Snack:
-Special K bar Vanilla- 90 cal

Dinner:
-Half a mini home made pizza- 255 cal
    (Really, really awesome! Not that bad at all and I even got PEPPERONIS on it! <3)
-Green tea with cinnamon and 2 tsp of honey- 30 cal


Exercise:
Biked mile and a half- 48 cal burned
Elliptical  for 15 minutes- 144.4
Biked a mile- 31
Ran at about 3.7mph for 15 minutes- 70

Intake:
715 cal  (Ick...)

Exercise:
-293.4 cal

Total net intake:
421.6

Yes! Under 600 is even better! I know I can do better though but for now I want to focus on my accomplishment :] Legs are killing from the toning work I did today at the gym but that just means it's working, right? I'm glad I can start out on a strong note. I've been going through ana/mia in phases, then I'd think I'm fine and stop then realize how gross I am and start again. Two days ago I noticed how FAT my face was for the first time and I knew I had to do something. Last night I binged, but didn't purge. Almost like my last goodbyes to cheese curds, fries, chicken strips, and mayo. And I buckled down and did my best today, and seeing how well I did, I hope I can keep this up and reach 110 soon!

I'm finishing up my tea and took my fish oil with my din din so I'll be heading to bed shortly. If anyone wants to email or something, feel free to send me some letters.
McCartney.Jones7@gmail.com

Thanks for listening,
Macca

Damnit, Mary...

Ughhhh!

Damn you, Mary Jane!!!!!!! You always make me so fucking hungry!! I HATE the munchies!



I have got to quit smoking.

[Edit:]
After my fatty pig out, it's time to go work out.
Wish me luck <3

Introduction

Hello, I'm McCartney.
Yeah...that's my name.
Anyways I'm making this blog to track myself and my weight loss. I feel like if I have something real, something tactile, real support from real girls who really know what I'm trying for...well then it will be easier.

I had a binge last night and so today I've decided it's time to stop trying and start doing.

So my current stats:
Height: 5'2"
High Weight: 127 lbs (57.6 kg)
Current Weight: 123.0 lbs (55.8 kg)
Current Goal: 110 lbs (49.9 kg)

It sucks because I ALWAYS gain more in winter. In the summer I average 117.0 lbs (53.1 kg). I just get so lazy and become such a fat ass in the winter. My depression usually acts up, too (Seasonal depression worsening my regular depression?). So I get really lazy. Maybe if I lived somewhere that didn't snow....That and I am curvy, naturally. I mean I'm not HUGE but..I am bigger breasted. I'd love to keep my shape but just be...thinner, flatter, prettier, better.

Well I plan to do weigh ins every Sunday. Even though we all know I'll be weighing like crazy through out the week. But I'll only count Sunday's weight in...or at least I'll try.

I try to stick to about 600 calories a day, up to 1200 on days I work out but...I'd like to keep even that more around 900 or 1000. And even that makes me feel gross.

So if anyone has any tips or anything, I'll gladly listen. I'm looking forward to meeting this awesome community here and everyone is certainly welcome to say whatever they feel. :]

Well...thanks for listening,
Macca

P.S.
I'll probably post maybe two to three times a day. Once in the morning and once in the evening tracking my progress. So...watch for that! <3