Preschool

    I help teach a preschool. From 10:35am-12:20pm...We do "project" work on a certain topic which works on various advanced skills since these kids are all teachers' kids. Our Project work right now is restaurants. So I have to sit there and teach/hear/learn about pizzarias, bakeries, and icecream. We went to Tutti Frutti to see how they make it and of course....eat. ALL ABOUT FOOD RIGHT AROUND LUNCH TIME!!! It kills me, it really does. Then I have my lunch break right after that....


Fuck me.

Thinspo Number 1

Okay I'm planning entirely to make sure I DO NOT over eat tomorrow. I fucked up today...ugh.

Plan for tomorrow that I CANNOT deviate from (Unless it's less):

Brekkie:
¼ cup of plain oatmeal with cinnamon (75 cal)
1 cup of green tea
Total = 75 cal

Lunch:
1 hard boiled egg (77 cal)
1 applesauce (50 cal)
Total = 127 cal

Dinner:
Unknown (whatever Ma makes) - 200-300 cal at most


DO NOT DEVIATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Feel fat when I lose and thin when I gain?

Why is it that whenever I feel really fat and don't want to step on the scale, I dropped? Am I bloated so I just feel fat, but actually am not? Yesterday I was at 122 and felt small. Then I B/P'd and today I feel fat, but I'm 120.4?


What?

Restrict today, make sure it's not a fluke.

FATTY FAT FATTY aka Me (Pictures)

Me

My hair

And my makeup-less face

 See... I'd like to think I'm not ugly per se...even though that upper left picture is pretty old, the rest from maybe a month ago...I mean, I can be cute when I want to...it's just the fact that I'm a massive disgusting whale. Humiliation is really one of the best motivators so...I'll probably keep a picture log too...so here it goes...it's okay to look away or vomit or something if you have too. But...me at my near worst, just before I started this blog. At around...125 lbs (56.7 kg) I'm guessing...

^^^^^^ WTF!!!! I'm so gross. I want to die. Goddamn my boobs are getting big...ughhhhh. Fatty fat fatty!!! I'm wearing an inner-tube for God's sake!!! MOOOO YOU FAT COW BITCH!!!!!!!!!

Okay....out of my system now. No not really but...ugh. This will motivate me. It has to...my face isn't that bad...well my cheeks are fat but I mean...like...gfdjklghdfkjghdfjskl WHY AM I SO FAT?!

Okay I'm done. I literally can't be here anymore.
I disgust me.