"Anorexic Bitch" and Boyfriends

    There is this guy at my work and he and I are always being mean to each other for shits and giggles. I was telling him that I hoped his new girlfriend wasn't like the other. She was a chunky little thing. Stout. And he got all mad for real and defensive.
"Hey, she wasn't fat, okay?!" I just laughed at him and said okay.

And what does he say to me?

"Oh yeah well you're not pretty. You're ugly. I am legitimately not attracted to you. Never have been. You're too skinny, you anorexic bitch."

Is it sad that him saying that made me smile? I felt so fucking good.

    On another note....long time best friend of mine asked me out. I've had a huge crush on him for three years. I did a little dance. I know I shouldn't but...I feel like this is reinforcement of my ED. Like..once I got serious and embraced it instead of pushing it away and being miserable silently...once I decided to DO something...here comes the guy I've wanted for years. Wanting to be my boyfriend. More importantly, wanting ME as his girlfriend. I have terrible anxiety with dating and my longest relationship has been...a full day. Twenty-four hours. It's been over twelve and I'm not hyperventilating or crying or screaming and pulling out my hair. This has never happened before. I don't want to think it's the ED but...it's the common denominator.

Also...I had to tighten my work belt an extra notch, and this excitement of neat, new, thinspiration boyfriend without the awkward dating part has made my intake awesome today.

238.5 cals.
118.8 lbs

Today is a good day.